i don't know how i got home, i don't know how i ended up showering while my vomit slurred down the drain, i don't know how the fuck i ended up making out with a girl in a hetero-ass club or how i managed to walk with that amount of alcohol on me, all i know is that the moment my head hit the pillow after showering i ended up touching myself and thinking about you, half drunk still, eyeliner running down my face because i didn't wash it out properly, still covered in water drops and that is terrifying to me, really, because i don't want to like you, i want you to be my booty call, i don't want it to get serious but i'm about to come and god fucking dammit all i can think about is the pressure of your thighs against my head, how broken your voice sounds when you're almost there, the silky feel of your lips wrapped around my thumb and it's raining and
fuck you. in every sense. fuck you stop doing this to me